I have to say that I am genuinely confused about what is going on with Google and our government. First Google decide to pay some tax, barely any, but some, they then fly the Chancellor out to the Super Bowl, probably no coincidence and not weird at all. Then as a final master stroke of “fuck you all” they decided to award Sundar Pichai shares with about the same value as they gave an entire government in tax, approximately £140 million, just in case you were wondering they gave the government £130m. I think Mr Pichai should get the same treatment as all Euro Millions winners and have his picture in the papers holding up a massive cheque with an inane grin, so we can all imagine what we would do with the big cheque if we won.

What is going on? Is it possible that Mr Pichai is a better negotiator than Mr Osborne? Is it that Mr Pichai has leverage over Google in a way that the entire country of Great Britain does not? Or is this all too complex for us mere mortals to understand?

Because, frankly it seems to me that Google is pretty much doing whatever it wants and is not even trying to be coy about it. Somehow they have managed to convince the government that the amount of tax they they want to pay is enough. How is it enough? Whilst we all get chased through every nook and crannie for £100 via self assessment and PAYE, a company as massive as Google doesn’t seem to be subject to the same rules.

Now I know the argument is that they generate tax via income tax for their employees, and jobs and employment etc, this doesn’t address the huge profits they take offshore through Luxembourg based head office. I pay tax….I get it…..no one wants to pay more than they need, but this really feels odd. I don’t recall this government campaigning on a message of “choose your own tax rates”. Is this scheme open to anyone? Do I have to provide tickets to a sporting event ? I kept all of my receipts should I be applying for my own tax rate via next years self assessment. Or worse still does Osborne have to come to my house because if he does I’m not sure I want a tax reduction.

Moaning aside, it seems as if the government have been stockpiling $ to hold the £ up when we Brexit (what this is about is that the £ will plummet in value because it’s such a bad idea to the leave the EU, so to prop up the failing currency we will sell $ and buy £ to drive up the price or rather stop it completely disappearing as a currency ), a hugely political use of state funds. Using our money!!!!! Somehow despite all of this austerity we are still going to have raise another £3 billion in extra revenues for the government to meet their politicised election promise of eliminating the deficit. The accepted wisdom on where this will be levied is at the petrol pump. And yes…..you guessed it…..we are paying. So quick recap on the chronology of events here;

1. Deregulation of banks to help them compete globally and for free trade to be truly free
2. Banks implode due to insane financial risks they have taken in a frenzy of profiteering
3. Governments bail them out creating huge problems with the financial balance of domestic economies
4. Massive austerity measures including forcing people off incapacity benefit and removing tax working credits for those unable or desperately trying to get their lives together
5. Global mega corporations avoid tax burden by setting up clever offshore head offices and investing in huge teams of expensive tax lawyers and advisors
6. Our government is unable to address the gap in finances despite all austerity measures
7. Petrol prices go up to redress the deficit for political and not practix reasons
8. Osborne goes to the Super Bowl
9. Errrrr that’s pretty much it
10. Oh yeah, we get a tax cut at the next election…..clever Tories 

Corporations fuck up, government bails them out. Corporations decide not to pay any tax, the government asks for a token gesture. But just so we are all clear, this is the money raised from us. It’s our money that we have asked the government to spend. It was our money that bailed out the banks and we are the ones that are actually paying. Somehow this set of privileged, wealthy, politicians have convinced the public that they will look after our money the best. But I can’t see it. Feels to me that they are looking after their own money and that of their friends. It seems that we have been embroiled in the same cosying up to big business that we have seen in the past which no doubt will lead to the same level of back door corroboration.

The reason the books don’t balance? Because you can’t grow an economy by cutting everything that makes a contribution. Despite all of the insane discussion of balancing the books economic modelling isn’t as simple as running a household. There needs to be some spending to drive demand and give people jobs in order to raise tax revenues etc. we have just cut, and now the well is dry, our hospital and education system are facing massive under investment, meanwhile our government ministers are drinking wine and standing on their hind legs, writing new rules. (Look it up, its a literary reference)

As we established earlier I’m not an economist but I do understand how some things work. The thing I’m struggling to understand is why we believe this or frankly any government (remember the whole “there’s weapons of destruction in Iraq, we promise ….. We have the receipts we know there is!!” madness of the other lot). The fundamental problem we face with the election system is that it breeds a set of politicians that are good at getting elected. What’s the alternative ? Well it’s probably worse. If history tells us anything people will do anything to stay in power, including kill their opposers and anyone that gets in their way. And if we know anything about humanity and ourselves it’s that given this level of power which one of us wouldn’t take advantage of it, I know I would have probably gone to the Super Bowl with Google, imagine how good the seat would have been. In fact I’m imagining some weird Dan Bilzarian experience with women who have stars stuck on their nipples and product placements you can hyperlink through that generate income for Google via Pay Per Click revenues as you move along, thereby becoming a parody of the very product yourself, it’s so post modern I can barely move.

Right…where were we? Oh yes we were realising that we we should be grateful that Cameron and his cronies aren’t killing us in an attempt to stay in power. The trouble is I can’t bring myself to be thankful or to feel like we are doing anything of value. The answer seems so simple to me. We should be spending our money on different things, things that matter to the population, help them, and making sure everyone contributes appropriately. Admittedly this is not part of the capitalist manifesto, but just so you are clear to be a capitalist you need vast wealth, so much wealth that you can in fact call it capital and invest it into large projects. If like me, you are simply allowed to swim in the same building as capitalists (not the same actual pool) then you are being duped into participation. You are not a capitalist, you really aren’t.

All we can do is remember this madness when we go to the ballot box. Remember that the man that runs the economy drives the levels of government spending in our country below the relative levels of the 40s, a time before there was any welfare state, and still couldn’t balance the books. And he let one of the richest companies in the world pay him less money than they paid their Chief Executive for a single bonus scheme, whilst they paid for him for go on a jolly to a sporting event. 

Remember this moment, remember it well, because last time we all got a bit confused.